Monday, August 11, 2014

When Did The "B" Word Become A Term Of Endearment

I came across a post on Instagram last week that stated, and I quote (excuse the language), "I can't wait for this "Bad Bitch" phase to end so women can go back to being women."  This got me thinking; since when did the "B" word become a term of endearment between women? When did it become okay to call your girlfriends or even yourself a "Bad B"? Is it no longer disrespectful and now widely accepted as a badge of honor to call other women out of their name for the sake of getting attention and or gaining notoriety?

The last time I checked - which was this morning - I wanted to be absolutely sure that I did not miss the memo on the meaning of this word changing and to my surprise (well maybe not), Merriam Webster clearly defines the "B" word as follows:

1. the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2.  a: a lewd or immoral woman, b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman - sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3. something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4. compliant (a statement that you are unhappy or not satisfied with something) looks to me that this word still carries a negative connotation that women have no problem with associating themselves with, but my question is why? Have times changed so much to the point where the brunt of being disrespected and called the "B" word by rappers in their filthy lyrics have worn off on us to the point where we openly disrespect ourselves without giving much thought to it? You know...if we can't beat em, join em mentality. 

Take a good long look at the above definition again. There is nothing positive or endearing about what this word stands for yet many women are happy or proud even to be associated with it. What is wrong with this picture?

There has to be a point where we are responsible enough to respect ourselves and each other. As grown women we are setting examples for the young girls who are watching and mimicking our every move and as long as we continue to disrespect each other this cycle will not end, it will only continue. But at some point it has to stop because we can't blame someone for calling us a "Bad B" if we are not willing to take a stand against it. What we accept continues, therefore it will never end.

Do you want to be labeled as a "Bad B"? Do you want your daughter, sister, or mother even to be called a "Bad B"? Where is the crown for the queens that we are in that title? Where is the respect, the love, the empowerment in it because it's an insult and will always be no matter how we try and dress it up in stilettos and a designer bag.

In order to get better we have to do better. It starts with us.